Some of my Thoughts

Abroad - 04.29.26

Reading my past writing feels incredibly cringe, so apologies to anyone who had to read through that. I feel like I've changed and grown in the best ways since last summer, and I've learned to embrace the uncertainty of life. I have a job for this summer which I’m excited to start, I’ve had the privilege to see and experience the world, and I’ve met some amazing people along the way. Recently, I’ve been thinking about the concept of agency in every regard.

Do we really have agency over anything? Something we discussed in one of my classes was the Greek tragedy Antigone. Even if one does everything right in their own mind, the outcome can never be fully predicted or controlled, and in some cases, it ends disastrously. In Antigone, it’s death.

In life, I think agency isn’t about controlling outcomes, but about choosing who we are despite them. Like what does it even mean to be a “good person”? When you're too kind, you're a pushover. Too serious, and you're boring. There’s always a dual interpretation of any trait someone possesses.

The interpretation isn’t in your control, but the traits you choose are. So choose the version of yourself that you want to live with. Choose the interpretation you like about yourself. And if it doesn’t feel right, revise, rinse, and repeat.

Growing up- 07.28.25

In the scattered chaos of the era, I've definitely been having some moments. The 20s are usually glamorized and I guess I assumed that it would come with some responsibility, but never could I have predicted how lost I'd also feel. Am I doing this all wrong? Is it supposed to be this way? Summers after high school ends are kind of odd. You feel like you're still a teen, especially when you're back home with your parents, but you're busy, your friends are busy, and those summer bonfires that you used to go to late at night start to feel like they are meant for someone else, a version of you from two years ago.

So yes, it's weird, and I don't know what I’m doing. I’m working a job, I’m not a teenager anymore, but I’m also not entirely sure what’s next and where I’ll go. And the thing is, it’s not like high school where you're all taking the same classes and just trying to do your best. This is the real world. And it feels like I’m alone sometimes, because my actions are my own. And honestly, there's no such thing as a “bad choice,” which somehow makes it even harder to decide what I want. But what I remind myself, when I feel stuck or alone or just miss being surrounded by my bestest of friends, is that we’ll get there. All of us. It’s all part of the process so let’s take the reins and enjoy the ride.

Being in Your 20s is About Being Lost - 07.25.25

I've often wondered if there's something wrong with me for being scatterbrained. A generalist by heart, a specialist by necessity. I know what I love, yet it seems like the world demands that you be carved into a puzzle piece meant to fit a picture that may not even be your own.

I've tried and resisted and tried again, but what I’ve come to is acceptance and realization. I'm a stick in a river that’s going to keep moving—and as long as I stay dense and internally strong, the current won’t break me. But when the current stops, that split moment, that second, is my time to pivot. It will move, and I will move with it, hopefully still intact.

The Art of Bombing an Interview - 07.22.25

If I look back at all the interviews that didn’t lead to a follow-up or return offer, I’d be doing a lot of looking back. And don’t get me wrong because I’ve reflected. I’ve wondered what I could’ve done better, what about me didn’t match the criteria or company or team.

What I’ve realized is this: you can’t control the result. You can be perfect on paper, answer every question, and still get rejected. Reflect on the mistakes, sure, but don’t let it get in your head. Just keep going.

"I'm Never Doing CS" - 07.21.25

I remember sitting in my high school Data Science class, turning to a friend and saying, “When I’m in college, I’m definitely not doing CS.” I royally sucked at it. Compared to the guys in my class who gamed and “vibe coded” for fun, I looked at the screen and saw a jumbled mess of words that meant nothing.

But then I got to college and realized the people I found most interesting were builders and entrepreneurs. So I decided to try. What I’ve realized about myself, and most people, is that we love the feeling of understanding something deeply. In CS, that moment of clarity is rare and fleeting because the field moves faster than we do. But that’s what makes it exciting. We have to embrace the uncertainty. It keeps us sharp. And what’s life without a little challenge?

Why I Didn't Choose IB - 07.18.25

As a New Yorker, I’m surrounded by people going into investment banking. Some of my closest friends are doing it. Finance runs deep in my family. And at one point, me ending up at Goldman Sachs probably would’ve made everyone proud.

But something about it never felt right. There’s something exhilarating about building, whether that’s engineering infrastructure, starting a food publication like HM Eats, or learning something totally new and running with it. That’s when I feel most alive. It wasn’t about chasing prestige. I just realized that creation excites me in a way structure never could.

More thoughts coming soon

I'm always thinking about new ideas and lessons learned. Check back here for updates on everything from technical deep dives to random realizations I've been having as a newbie to the 20s.